The First of His Name, The Last of His Kind–Grand Master Elgie

Library cat receives official Ferrum College Employee Evaluation
Elgie stalks the grounds outside the library among the plants and flowers.
Elgie stalks the grounds outside the library among the plants and flowers.
Rachel Walton

Prior to the release of summer break and the commencement of the semester, each work-study department evaluates its employees based on a series of performance-based categories.

These evaluations incorporate aspects of quality and quantity of work, comprehension, reliability, attitude, judgement, dependability, cooperation, initiative, and care of materials and equipment.

Each category is marked with a numerical score, beginning at a one, titling an individual’s success to be below average, and increasing with each numerical value preceding the number four, outstanding. 

An above-average three or an average two generally defines one’s expectations.

However, for Elgie, a shining star of the library department, average was just not good enough.

In fact, only fours, and nothing less, would prove sufficient–especially for an employee who spends most of his time on all fours.

And all fours and outstanding mark of excellence was exactly Elgie did, earning him the, ahem, cat’s meow.

Elgie is officially known as Grand Master Elgie, The First of His Name, and The Last of His Kind.

“The best mouser–but not so great on the snake problem,” his general summary reads, “He is the goodest boy. Eight years of employment have been sprinkled with nothing but good memories.”

He’s quite a handsome attraction on campus, too, as gathered by a general consensus across the grounds. His soft paws, petite figure, luxurious fur, dark, shiny green eyes, and purrs send many into a trance.

Elgie peers from behind the bushes after emerging from underneath the library. (Rachel Walton)

Elgie is a rather shy character, yet a popular one on campus. He is adored by the masses, and among the most-loved on campus. In short, most feline pretty good about him.

Elgie is commonly spotted wandering peacefully among the flowers in the center of campus and catches the eye of many who may pass. He commonly appears in the photos and on socials of students, and his presence has even been a factor that promotes prospective students to an admissions decision on campus.

As a campus-resident, his favorite spot is the library, spending his hours in the location in an amount equitable to that of most students only at the time of exams.

He’s been a loyal and dedicated employee of the Stanley Library for eight years, despite his tendencies to fly under the radar.

This could be due, in part, to Elgie’s biggest flaw–he does not work well with other people.

In fact, Elgie’s favorite pastime is gaslighting passers-by for more compensation for his services.

Elgie, however, fails to see it as a problem.

“It’s a valuable skill,” he declared through a series of meows.

Time management is also a valuable skill, one which he does possess. Elgie is known for his meticulous schedule and always being on time.

Well, with the exception of his tendency to vanish for days on end, that is.

Nonetheless, Rachel Walton, librarian, finds him to be an example.

“Working with Elgie has truly been an honor. He’s taught me so much about my job here,” Walton explained. “Especially how important maintaining a routine is. He never misses a chance to tell me when I am late for his meals!”

Katie Groce, freshman, agrees, for she could not have thought of a better person to work with.

“He’s my favorite employee, other than Rachel,” she said.

Elgie has quite the reputation for adventure, too, as well as a spontaneous knack that keeps folks on their toes. His coworkers never know what he may be up to next, and they say it keeps their lives interesting.

“There is a suspected alliance that may concern us with the snake problem, however we do not know for sure,” his supervisor wrote. “We also suspect that his disappearances are due to extra-dimensional warfare, but it could also be linked to baby duck and bunny season.”

One could even argue him to be quite intelligent, too.

Yet, for some, such as Rain Quackenbush, freshman, Elgie’s abstract disposition can be challenging.

“At times he is hard to work with,” she offered.

Be that as it may, Quackenbush’s opinion is vastly outnumbered by the rest of the library staff.

Even Brianna Schenk, sophomore, has had a change in heart since working with Elgie.

“I thought he was extremely rude, and he judged me before he gave me a chance,” Schenk said. “He is starting to give me a chance, and we are working toward being good teammates.”



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